..and Allah/God created woman.....

A good friend sent me this ,which I thought worth sharing and posting .




"The women talk openly about the misery they face - homelessness, the death of loved ones, whose photos they love to hand round, their children's trauma after the horrors they've seen.The women talk openly about the misery they face - homelessness, the death of loved ones, whose photos they love to hand round, their children's trauma after the horrors they've seen."


"But much harder for them discuss, the mental health workers say, is the abuse increasing numbers of Gaza women suffer at home. "


You can read the rest here

To this article and ones similar, are really always a great concern to my daily existence .Being mother and teacher to our Libyan daughters ; I respond not to the Women of Gaza alone,which are in my prayers as are all my friends and family and anyone in need of prayers,but to all women...

A maltreated woman ,whether be she in in Gaza , Libya, or the west is more or less in the same position. Nothing differs with the implication of verbal or physical abuse ;resulting in a weakened mistreated woman who doesn't know right from wrong behavior as shes brought to up to believe that anything her so called beloved ,destined, ,provider and supposedly devoted husband is correct though deep in her gut feels something is wrong and lives in self denial....

In this world of ours women be they whatever ethnic race, or religion are continuously being abused verbally or physically.
Being a mother of daughters ,I simply get sick upon hearing about abuse of any nature ,but especially towards women who are the center of life and if well nourished and I dont mean foodwise can contribute with all they have to their families. I pray that my daughters and all women never have to go through such cruelty as degrading as it is.......

Libyan men are the same as others humans of the same sex when it comes to abuse. Verbal abuse is always the first to be implemented ie to keep the wife on her toes.If the woman is successful in her work ,the man with his mothers support will put her in her place at whatever cost even if it takes them to court.

I always told my daughters and female students to never accept such situations because as soon as the verbal part of abuse sets in then the physical will follow suite ,no matter the years of marriage ,or the children a couple share etc... he has to prove his machismo and dedication to his mother first, to feel himself a man .

I am not stating this out of the blue. I am very familiar with the situation.
A woman must accept herself as that ie the joy of being a woman, as Allah/God created. Having a decent partner these days is like winning the lottery . Yes, its all about luck and how the woman responds to the her man's abusiveness.

A unknown quote I always use with all the young ladies I teach is that
"when I teach a man ;I teach a person,when I teach a woman I teach a family."
That is why we must pay a lot of attention to our younger generation of women and rid them of their weaknesses by educating them and making them fully aware of abusive men and what theyd be up against.Some women are just plain magnets to these bunch of losers.

What it all comes down to is lack of awareness for both partners. We say that its more common in the Arab world than in the west until we read the headlines of open minded women who are self dependent and supported but in abusive relationships.Now ,where do we put the blame?????


The blame dear readers is in the weak woman. The more she advances intellectually and becomes aware of such weaknesses the better her option of having a great partner thus a successful marriage.

No husband or wife will ever be 100%. It takes two to tango !But abuse is not to be pushed under the carpet. Here in Libya, it's an accepted fact that its better being married no matter what the cost of abuse, than divorced. Even if the husband is not only verbally abusive but physically too.

Many men are obviously verbally cruel and abusive. Others are more subtle.

Although verbal abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises, it is often more seriously damaging to your self-image. Verbal abuse is cruel and scars your soul.

Many women never discuss verbal abuse. Indeed, some do not even recognize that they are being verbally abused.

Often a verbal abuser is quite sensitive to outsiders finding out about the abuse and is very careful to save these scenes for the home environment only. Many verbal abusers are delightful, charming men in public. They treat their spouse with such respect that people often think they "are the perfect couple." They save their cruelty for a private audience of one.

Why do intelligent, warm women permit verbal abuse from fiances and later from spouses?

During the courtship period, everyone is on their best behavior. The verbal abuse is slight and probably few and far between. Since women want to believe the best of their lovers, they overlook obvious verbal abuse. Chemistry adds to the capability women have to overlook the first subtle signs of abuse.

Then they marry and live together. And the abuse starts...


Many women find that emotional abuse is difficult to name or even talk about. They often wonder if it is serious because you cannot see it, like bruises or broken bones. Emotionally abused women state that one of the biggest problems they face is that others seldom take it seriously. These questions will help you identify if you ,the wonderful woman that Allah/God created ,are being emotionally abused, and provide some ideas on what you can do about it.

What is your relationship like?

* Do you feel that something is wrong with your relationship, but you don't know how to describe it?
* Do you feel that your partner controls your life?
* Do you feel that your partner does not value your thoughts or feelings?
* Will your partner do anything to win an argument, such as put you down, threaten or intimidate you?
* Does your partner get angry and jealous if you talk to someone else? Are you accused of having affairs?
* Do you feel that you cannot do anything right in your partner's eyes?
* Do you get mixed messages, such as the reason you are abused is because he loves you?
* Are you told that no one else would want you, or that you are lucky your partner takes care of you?
* Do you have to account for every moment of your time?
* When you try to talk to your partner about problems, are you called names such as bitch or nag?
* Are you prevented from going to work or school, or from learning English?
* Does your partner threaten to withdraw your sponsorship or send you back to your country of origin?
* If you wish to spend money, does your partner make you account for every penny,
* or say you don't deserve anything?
* After an argument, does your partner insist that you have sex as a way to make up?
* Does he use the children against you in arguments? Does your partner threaten that you will never see the children again if you leave?
* Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong?

How are you affected?

* Are you unable or afraid to make decisions for yourself?
* Do you do anything you can to please your partner or not upset him?
* Do you make excuses for your partner's behaviour?
* Are you forgetful, confused or unable to concentrate?
* Have you noticed changes in your eating, sleeping, use?
* Have you lost interest or energy to do the things you used to?
* Do you feel sick, anxious, tired or depressed a lot of the time?
* Have you lost contact with your friends, family or neighbours?
* Have you lost self-confidence and feel afraid that you could not make it alone?

What can you do about it?

* Realize that emotional abuse is a serious problem and you can get help.
* Recognize that emotional abuse is as bad or worse than physical abuse.
* Take your own safety and the safety of your children seriously.
* Know that emotional abuse can lead to physical violence or death.
* Know that you are not to blame for your partner's abusive behaviour.
* Find people to talk to that can support you.

* Find someone that will listen to you and take emotional abuse seriously.
* Recognize that you have the right to make your own decisions, in your own time, and that dealing with any form of abuse may take time.
* Trust yourself and your own experiences. Believe in your own strengths. Remember that you are your own best source of knowledge and strength, and that you already have the tools you need to survive.

Any woman whos in an abusive rapport please bear in mind that when you accept that you are in an abusive relationship ;you are half way to helping yourself and children if any.....