Dear Violet..........

Linking to Violets recent post….

Dear Violet,
I do thank you for bringing up such an interesting topic which I experienced with my first born daughter.


In my opinion, when a woman is strong willed, educated ,and aware of what she’s up against, she will never fall for jerks or control freaks, thus making her life a successful one ie making the right choice

I have daughters and when my first went to university I was such a proud mother. I have always been close to my children but never over protective of fear that they become weak and wont be able to stand up to what beliefs and principles I brought them up with ,mainly of being themselves .

My daughter had always excelled in school emitting herself from partying with her friends and cousins,on the ocasions Only the religious festivals would she attend, to go to her grand parents whom she adored and they praised, for such a beautiful mind and serious commitment in studying. Even her siblings, my younger children in contrast, where nothing to compare to their big sis’s scholastic records. She even had teachers fighting over her to have her in their class! Till this day they have her photo on the school board as being the most brilliant of students, the school had ever had!

Upon entering the university here in Tripoli at Al Fatah , Engineering at that –you’d think that young ladies had better insight than average illiterate, ignorant women who had no chance of finishing college and getting a degree. Little did I know of what my daughter was up against.


Soon she made friends, and all were young men whom she could relate to, needless to say she couldn’t get along with the female engineers. They were so much into catching a man and putting on a show of stupidity and pretense that she just couldn’t stand.

The young men respected her and really enjoyed her presence as their main focus was in passing with the best results. They would gather and study all together.

All fine you might say –till one day she was laughed at for being so into her courses telling her she would never marry a Libyan, and remain a spinster.
Such harsh words, which only emphasized how jealous they were of how well she was doing in her studies and she answered back stating that if all Libyan men thought in the same manner she would not want to marry them and could, have them!
Yes. that was my girl ! I have brought up a lady with principles and priorities, she, the weakest in character of her siblings spoke out. I was so happy and that made my day.

When discussing this issue with my girlfriends many which are multicultural ,some married to Libyans others divorced, we came to a conclusion that men in general , but especially Libyan men, seem to thoughroghly enjoy the intelligence of women ,in everyday co working relationships, while discussing current or past issues- but at the end of the day, that they settle for the stupid ones when marrying , to make them feel grand machos!