Hugs and kisses !

Have you ever had that uncomfortable situation where another person went in for a hug while you extended your hand to shake? Sometimes it’s hard to gauge the appropriate level of physicality to share with another person, so here are a few thoughts on the shake, kiss, or hug dilemma.

In work settings, it is fine to be more formal when you are in either familiar or foreign settings, but be aware of your local hosts when you travel and follow their lead. Remember that people in many other countries are more physical than we are in the US, so don’t be afraid when you visit a colleague in another land and they kiss you on the cheek or give you a handshake and hug. Rebuffing someone’s locally appropriate but physical greeting can make you seem more distant at best, or even culturally ignorant and cold. While there is nothing wrong with being more formal with business colleagues, remember that the interpersonal ties we form with one another are often very important in getting things done.

With friends and family overseas, I strongly suggest a “When in Rome” approach. Kiss your French friend on each cheek, give three kisses to your Dutch cousin, and a good, strong hug for your Russian kin. Of course even the two-kiss greeting varies from country to country, so check with your local hosts about the appropriate starting cheek and the general guidelines for greetings.

This all brings me to a funny story that I actually experienced with my trainees when discussing the Libyan relationships with foreigners, Islamic values and plain Libyan minded cultural dryness!

French ,and the people who lived under their rule kiss a lot as many Libyans who are part Tunisian ,Moroccan or Algerian to name a few. All true Libyans ,if there are any tend to be dryer in being brought up in the that manner, than their Arab neighbors,who can sweet talk so nicely.

Now this Libyan trainee of mine,said that his friend heard that Libyans were very dry towards their wives and decided to prove his friends wrong and do something about it. So one day ,after a tiring day at work he went home and upon his wife opening the door hugged very strongly. She being a devoted Libyan wife, not used to such tenderness, was so scared and hugged him back stating :

“ Oh my God my mother or yours ????”