Hugs and kisses !

Have you ever had that uncomfortable situation where another person went in for a hug while you extended your hand to shake? Sometimes it’s hard to gauge the appropriate level of physicality to share with another person, so here are a few thoughts on the shake, kiss, or hug dilemma.

In work settings, it is fine to be more formal when you are in either familiar or foreign settings, but be aware of your local hosts when you travel and follow their lead. Remember that people in many other countries are more physical than we are in the US, so don’t be afraid when you visit a colleague in another land and they kiss you on the cheek or give you a handshake and hug. Rebuffing someone’s locally appropriate but physical greeting can make you seem more distant at best, or even culturally ignorant and cold. While there is nothing wrong with being more formal with business colleagues, remember that the interpersonal ties we form with one another are often very important in getting things done.

With friends and family overseas, I strongly suggest a “When in Rome” approach. Kiss your French friend on each cheek, give three kisses to your Dutch cousin, and a good, strong hug for your Russian kin. Of course even the two-kiss greeting varies from country to country, so check with your local hosts about the appropriate starting cheek and the general guidelines for greetings.

This all brings me to a funny story that I actually experienced with my trainees when discussing the Libyan relationships with foreigners, Islamic values and plain Libyan minded cultural dryness!

French ,and the people who lived under their rule kiss a lot as many Libyans who are part Tunisian ,Moroccan or Algerian to name a few. All true Libyans ,if there are any tend to be dryer in being brought up in the that manner, than their Arab neighbors,who can sweet talk so nicely.

Now this Libyan trainee of mine,said that his friend heard that Libyans were very dry towards their wives and decided to prove his friends wrong and do something about it. So one day ,after a tiring day at work he went home and upon his wife opening the door hugged very strongly. She being a devoted Libyan wife, not used to such tenderness, was so scared and hugged him back stating :

“ Oh my God my mother or yours ????”

My secret admirer and rantings!

Every week my desk has been topped with a fresh bunch of beautifully colored roses. I haven't been myself lately with the girls' leaving and adjusting to a new system and all.The house which was quite an active one has become so quiet .And I have always asked for peace and quiet but somehow it's not the same ,now that they have gone.

But the subject of the matter is that I am exhausted though happy at the same time. What a weird feeling.. There came a point to which Id pass out and thought Id not make it through both weddings!

So the person who places the flowers feels this and knows of what I'm going through. I love flowers and receiving them is an added bonus!

Working as a teacher in my secret wonderful world where I can at most comfort gives me the energy and motivation I need hence I pass it on to my trainees. But these last few weeks wasn't enough and my admirer sensed that and thought of cheering me up a bit knowing Ive been through a lot besides the girls' weddings.

Have you guessed who my admirer is ?

Yes ,none other than my mother though not well still makes sure I'm happy no matter what and delegates to all,in her bossy way which has come to be the norm.

Love you Mama and I'm sorry for not being patient enough at times.....

Khadijateri kicks ass and has my full support!

Being a Libyan Blogger ,my dear friend Khadijateri ;I am ashamed of the comments that were posted on your blog,and am sorry.

Shame on you dear Libyan Bloggers !

I thank Happymoi for the guts in not following most Libyan Bloggers like a herd of sheep .We supposedly want freedom of speech and when getting it we refuse to accept what is evident and live in self denial,or one could call it the coward's way out! This fellow readers and bloggers is what keeps us from ever emancipating or having trust and self confidence in ourselves. Being extremely bias to anything that comes our way and not accepting different opinionated views is a sign of weakness.


I have known Khadijateri for a couple of years before we actually became good friends and I must admit that she is even more Libyan and Muslim than many Libyans,myself included!
Why do we consider her a foreigner when she criticizes our beloved Libya or its people ?Our we not forgetting that her children are Libyans and so is her husband to say the least???


I have lived abroad in the west for many years and have always criticized what I observed which wasn’t to my liking and and still do so till this day.This does not make me a lesser person or of what I stand for nor does it in any way shape or form hinder my love for the west or any culture while still respecting them at the same time.


If we are to emancipate as a people we have to accept criticism to improve on what and where we can. But taking it out on a decent ,down to earth ,kind, loving woman who encouraged us all to start blogging is outrageously disgusting and in poor taste!


Our people are dirty and so are our streets . They don’t wash everyday and stink. I am in constant contact with university students and trainees in my own center,so I know what Im talking about.We dump everywhere and then blame our government to clean after us.

I always when lecturing or teaching try to emphasise the will of a people to love ones country is in caring and keeping it trash free. We lack patriotic values. We are not there by a long shot but would be if we concentrated more on improving our country and people by awareness programmes. If the literate Bloggers think and behave as they did with KT what expectations are we to expect from the illiterate??