Being in love versus loved ?

An old article I wrote some time ago...

What would you pick if you had the chance? An unrequited love, or look elsewhere until you find your soul mate?

Finding a soul mate is a very difficult endeavour especially for us Libyans. For you never really know what you’ve gotten yourself into until its most probably too late. Finding a partner is difficult, let alone a soul mate, something unimaginable in our Libyan world full of pretense and good manners until, you become somebody’s prey to feast on. As control freaks are never in short demand but always on the rise even at this day and age.

We are continuously divided between two worlds that of the western, and our cultural religious one. Trying desperately to not clash in one’s own culture, for fear of losing respect, and dignity in our little world of so called decency, so when hopelessly in love, a usually well kept hidden taboo topic which is left undiscussed in many families unless marriage plans were being targeted, one would not fully feel the living spirit of insanity, let alone the obvious roller coaster ride! So shouting out to the world of one being in love is unquestionably out.

The internet has opened up many channels to couples looking for a partner and hopefully ending up with. But the lies that are told are something unbelievable as many Libyans due to being away from the world ,under sanctions for many years are very gullible people and unaware of the mischief that lies outside their world . Some people I know have found their partners through the internet and are quite happily married, never mentioning what they went through to get there. And if you were to mention, how they met, the question would always be answered according to who is doing the asking, i.e. open minded persons would get the truth: the internet, while others, who are hypocrites and pretend to hold on to certain values a response would be: of a family member, a sister’s teacher or neighbour's friend, endless stories to feed the ignorant of the fact… bla bla bla…

Getting back to our topic as I have the tendency to go elsewhere with my thoughts, i.e. of being in love or being loved and what choice would one make if the chance came up…….
Well in this case there are more than two sides to a coin here...
Let’s look at the word love;

Love: 1) a very strong, emotional and sexual feeling for someone. 2) feeling of liking and caring.3) somebody /something you love.4) a kind person 5) used at the end of a letter 6) used for talking with somebody.7) no points in tennis

Being madly in love, unrequited love, unconditional love, here insanity plays a huge role and it’s usually a roller coaster ride, if one is willing to take the trip!

Also it could be said or used by friends, family members or partners, as mentioned above and Ah yes tennis anyone? I wonder whoever gave this word to tennis duh!??


For Valentines Day , I went out and bought myself a box of chocolates and a dozen red roses . Weird? You might think, I wouldn’t say so. Spoiling myself? Again no. Loving my existence, aha that’s it. This is the meaning our dictionary forgot to mention, and where would one be if one expects to be given love from anyone? Love of oneself should come first.

As I ate the chocolates ,one by one, devouring each individually and smelling my roses I felt I was in heaven for brief moments imagining myself on an a deserted island Ahhhh….a vision of a beautiful sandy beach and clear sparkling sea lying carelessly in a hammock under the shade of palm trees. Suddenly a ringing tone hit my head and a reality check was in order, as the phone rang and another problem had to be solved….

All in all in seems that we might as well do without the insanity so as to not have to blame the beautiful word, (love), in being the culprit. Think about it, and do love yourself… and live everyday as though it were your last…….cause one never knows…..when we’d hitch on to the no return trip!

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