Tuesday 16 February 2010

Muslim Husbands -where are you ????



This was sent to me by a great friend,needless to say that my response was that extreme few Muslim husbands (sorry guys ) I know fit the criteria ...

What do you say ???

Characteristics of a Muslim Husband ;



No one ever thinks about the characteristics of a Muslim husband. It is

always what a wife should do for the husband... and the list never ends

; home management, tutoring, ferrying the kids, caring, cooking,

cleaning, washing, working, you name it, she is doing it. so what about

the brothers?



Our beloved Prophet SAW was not like this. So, why the men of thisUmmah? It

is quite interesting. So I thought I'd share it with you!!!


What a Muslim husband should be like...

1.

Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.. When was the last

time you went shopping for designer pyjamas? Just like the husband

wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to

dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (PBUH) would always

start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest

smells.



2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved

names to her, and avoid using names that hurt her feelings.



3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily

lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day –

which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something

to 'bug' him.. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that

she does and focus on that.



4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not

comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (PBUH) used when he would

see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It's a technique that

few Muslim men have mastered.



5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often..

Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah.


Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also

those Ahadith when the Prophet (PBUH) would kiss his wife before

leaving for Salaah, even when he was fasting.



6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take

for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home

and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only

acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the

soup. Don't let that be; thank her!



7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made

her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what

gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask

her and work on repeating those times in your life.



8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look

down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (PBUH) set the

example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because,

as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears,

comforted her and brought her the camel.



9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet

(PBUH) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the

last time you did something like that?



10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (PBUH): 'The best of

you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best

amongst you to my family.' Try to be the best!



In conclusion : Never forget to make Dua to Allah - Ta'ala to make your marriage

successful. And Allah Ta'ala knows the best!!

6 comments:

  1. Nice written, especially it is the first time i read it in english.

    I liked the point about the best ten things, but in fact i like it both sides, i think something like this gives a person alot of hints of what the other one would like. Especially for new married people who are still trying to figure out how their partners think.

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  2. If I took a poll of my friends and asked them if their husbands did at least half of these things they would say 'No!'

    In my own humble opinion, and this comes from almost 30 years of observation, most Libyan husbands AND wives are selfish - only out to please themselves.

    Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, in my country (America) if you're unhappy with your spouse you simply kick them the hell out and get on with life! Easier said then done in Libya... lol

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  3. RED ALERT!
    OK! Hold on folks...before we get ahead of ourselves! I tried kissing my wife before leaving and upon returning home. She had a puzzled look on her face and curiosity filled eyes. With tears in her eyes this is all she asked: "Are you seeing someone else?"

    Lesson Learned: Gradual desensitization should be practiced instead of diving in head first.

    Good luck ya'all!

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  4. Salam Luna,

    Nice reminder---one for wives would be nice too.

    If there's a bright spot, which there has to be if there's a dark spot, right? Anyway, if there's a bright spot in this down-turned global economy, it would be a change in individuals attitudes towards one another. There seems to be a gentlier, kinder, more appreciative approach. Even customer service has improved tremendously. With that being said, I'm hoping this will expand out to intimate relationships as well. The both men and women make a greater effort to be appreciative, supportive and loving of their partner. Certainly, it would show our children today what it means to be such and hopefully this will cause them to be better behaved as well. It's like the ripple effect of when a stone is thrown in the middle of the water----they ripples can be seen for a very wide distance from the center of impact.

    Nothing would be greater than to see a reversal of such hideous behavior as of those behaviors we've seen growing over the last 10 to 15 years.

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  5. Libyan-
    Im glad you liked it.Figuring out how a partner thinks is a hassle but if both partners create mutual respect for one another as a priority then that would lessen the load of misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

    Khadija-
    At least your friends were honest about it ;-)Libyan husbands are selfish indeed especially when living in Libya. When they're abroad they are totally different in all respect.Unfortunately this is due ,in my opinion to the husbands' macho-ism which he has to play lead role and is proudly supported by their mothers and her siblings!

    Anon-
    thanks for the input. You reminded me of a student of mine when we discussed hugging in the Libyan world and the lack of it. To which he once hugged his wife as she opened the door ;upon returning home after a long days work and nearly got himself killed in a car crash;as he hugged her strongly,she exclaimed " Oh my God /Allah, who died ,my mother or yours? "

    ibeebarbie-
    What goes around comes around my dear.Couples have to work on their relationships more nowadays especially when kids are involved.Respect,and trust should be their priority ,everything else will follow suite.

    I thank you all for your input......
    Blessings and Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  6. I strongly agree with Khadijateri most Libyan men & women are selfish creatures and there only to please themselves , in Libya relationships and commitments are built on the wrong reasons.is it hard to kick someone out of your life simply because you are not happy with?. most spauses here are not happy with each others and they make zillion excuses to stay together i.e. because of the kids , my kids need me. so the result is DRAMA DRAMA DRAM

    ReplyDelete