Lumps ,bumps and miracle creams……..

We ladies always seem to be dissatisfied with our bodies, no matter what everybody tells us . I guess it’s a female issue which many men cant seem to understand, for men have it all ;they can have their cake and eat it too unlike us females with our never ending insecurities ,too fat ,too big ,if only and endless list of insecurities need I go on ????I think not, for fear of boring you all to death……

Since losing some weight ,and gaining some back ,them losing again a yo yo pattern though I do see myself feeling better when the battle of the bulges is in play and the conquest is in order and my palate is in control.

Cellulite is the most common factor, for us ladies as it seems to pile on before you know it !the only way of removing is by changing our eating behavior ,I am not a nutrionist nor do I see myself fit to give advice on the matter but always on the search of a miracle cure I have come to conclude that there simply is no such nonsense.

Going to the gym has been a great effort on my behalf, getting there instead of my usual afternoon siesta as I struggle with my inner friend who tells me to take a nap and not to go to the gym. Upon arriving there the trainer gives me such a treat that from jumping on the step to sweating like crazy and with hold my intention of killing her if she screams one more time stating 10 more pushups..I must admit I do feel way so much better afterwards. She tells me that she’s grown fond of me and enjoys it as I compete and I’m not as young as she, lets say she’s old enough to be my ie if I got married when 14 !

At first I struggle with her then I’m at the same level ,which makes her proud so she pushes me further still while the other ladies remain breathless! My inner voice tells me she wants to compete then she’ll get it. Last year I won a car which I then gave away to a nice family in need –I already have a car. I’m not boasting, just stating that I’ve become a good aerobics player. I have a good friend to thank for this, for he encouraged me, sometimes I’d lie to him stating I went when in actual fact I hadn’t. He knew ,how I don’t know ,but Id tell him the truth and get act together ,sometimes even wishing he wasn’t my friend so Id sit on my a.. and dream of becoming thin!! Bless him for keeping up with me ….

Getting back to the lumps and bumps, I meet different women of many nationalities and walks of life at the gym, last was a French lady who had just bought a jar of “miracle cure cream” for her “celluleet”as standing in an exaggerated pose asking:”Are my thighs thinner or what?”

“Why, what have you done?” I ask, instantly suspicious.

“I’ve just had this amazing treatment at the beauty salon. First they plastered my thighs with clay to increase the circulation, then attached these little wires and administered electric shocks through the pads to break down the fat.”

“Michelle, “I said looking at her ,”If you believe nothing else that I say, please believe this: you cannot break down body fat from the outside. You can plaster it with mud, seaweed, or day old rice pudding-nothing will make any difference.”

“Non ,non this cannot be, “says Estelle, her friend . In France we have many such treatments for the celluleet. Surely they must work?”

“if they worked, then everyone would be slim, “I say.”Look at the fat on your hips and thighs it got there because you ate more food than you consumed in energy. That excess food went through a chemical process in your body and was converted into fat.

The only way to lose the fat is to eat less food and do more exercise .This causes a deficit of energy source in your body and some of the fat then goes through a chemical process that turns it into a usable form of energy. You can’t disperse it from the outside.”

“But the beauty therapist said it would rid me of this celluleet, and convinced me it was breaking down the fat.”

“Well she would, wouldn’t she?”I said “When gullible young girls train to be beauty therapists, they’re indoctrinated with three key phrases:”breaks down the fat,””increases circulation, “and “gets rid of the toxins.”They’re made to repeat these phrases several times during each consultation to brainwash the client into believing there’s a connection with weight loss. But there isn’t, I assure you.”

“She did say it would get rid of toxins, “admitted Michelle.”And I thought that as fat is full of toxins, this would help me slim.”

“But fat is not full of toxins, “I say patiently (I hope ). “Your body has an extremely efficient system, blood stream, urine, sweat and so on….This is a continuous process; you don’t need to help it along. If you enjoy it, then by all means do it. But don’t kid yourself that it’s making you slimmer or healthier.”

“Well, I have this cream, “says Estelle pulling a small pot out of her handbag.” It cost me LD120 and it had better rid my celluleet for that price.”

“Well I would read the label carefully I advise. “Maybe it says something about reducing the appearance of cellulite-meaning that it will make your skin smoother, but it certainly won’t make you slimmer. And by the way, a recent study test under laboratory conditions compared samples of fat from the upper arms where the skin is smooth found they were exactly the same composition. So I’m afraid your celluleet is just plain old fat and you wasted LD 120.”

“But I can’t take it back! she whines.