Kahlil Gibran on Marriage
From Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet
Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, Master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Why does one get married? Is it because they want to commit to a partnership of a lifetime, have kids and live happily ever after, like endings of fairytales with the chosen so called soul mate? Or is it because of religious ,family stress or friends getting themselves hooked so we tend to go forward with the concept ie all stuck with the marriage bliss where in actual its woes which we keep well hidden in our secret world of self denial.
Ask any woman if she’s happy being married and the reply would be that of yes !Not showing the hell she’s in and wanting who’s asking especially if single, to get into the darn bliss of marriage !
Ask a man and you’d get the look of …… you know he’d like to kick the person in the a.. for having told him to go through with it !
Marriage Bliss no longer exists –
Maybe we should blame the ozone too! Weather changes do affect people’s attitude, no way can we deny the fact. When one is cold ,obviously having sex would take extra effort ,\and if hot a cooling system would have to be incorporated ,which by the time is efficient the couple in question, may have lost interest altogether !
Now ,if we were to explain affairs and how couples actually handle that , a complete story diverges into the following that of, interest ,high emotions ,being positive in all aspects, let alone of ones looks and care free attitude. Is the sinning affect to be responsible?Obviously depending on different cultures; but even with the acceptance of living without a marriage license in the west ,or what is called an open relationship ,relationship ie with one partner ,observing the couple closely we notice the love ,trust and happiness they share is not found in married couples..
We no longer see people who’ve been married for many years and still remain happy. My idea is that the ones who do stay in a long term relationship of so called marriage bliss is that they have throughout the years developed either hearing or visual loss, or maybe both ie they can see the existence of their partner in their lives ,but not actually see or hear them.! All for the better, I think, for what can one portray every single day ,that would be of interest t his /her partner ? Ahhh we should portray and forget the rest? Should a married couple just be interested in their world and leave others out, pleasing themselves only falling into another trap and become self centered ignorants ?
Here plural wives may just come in handy ….
Women would compete with their sisters in marriage with the one husband they all share. At least she knows where he is and what hes up to !
As for the sisterhood of wives,who must be on accord to all household chores and the bringing up of children if any….and not forgetting the love and stability the give off to their kids.
Another thing is the pleasure of awaiting the turn ie a wife will no longer have the ususal headaches ,bet many a gent will have loved this last remark of mine !
So all in all it really depends what one is looking for in a marriage : a fantasy , a solution to loneliness, a partnership , a soul mate ( last is usually either unobtainable ,or taken )family with male female ,or same sex family ,or plural ….
Yes , many families now have either two daddies or two mommies or many of mommy’s sisters’ in a marriage. The most important fact lies not in what kind of sexual habbits the couple exercise but what they offer as a family.Who is to say that marriages of this sort unlike the norm wont be a success ?
On another note wish I could have a marriage expiration date ,this may sound weird or even crazy to some . But think of it slowly and try to digest it without the negativity we jump to avoid actually grasping the info transmitted and rejecting it without second thoughts.
If a couple love each other for 5 years then they should renew their vows or their marriage licence or whatever if not they simply go their separate ways and lessen the long years of desperate longing to improve on ones status and the never ending whining that of the spouse’s blaming one another of staying in a loveless marriage filled with only with rancor.
A healthy marriage/partnership,gives off healthy stability ,respected and blessed union ,a supportive family whose partners are forever in love and never distrust or hurt the other no matter what.. I may be in dreamland or spaced out or even weird but why ?oh why ? is a perfect marriage/partner unobtainable these days ??
It remains to be seen....
as we have lost our way to love hence even have knowledge of what it is .. I end with :
1 Corinthians.13:4-13
Love is patient ,love is kind
It does not envy,it does not boast,it is proud.
It is not rude,it is not self seeking,
It is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,always trusts,always hopes,always preserves.
And now faith,hope,and love abide,but the greatest of these is love.
Blessings..
