To my daughter......

To My Special Daughter,

I got something special to say,

I wish you the happiness,

On this your special day.



The first time that I saw you,

My heart was filled with Love,

But now that you're 30,

You'll need a little shove.



I'd never change a thing in you,

I thank Allah/God you are so fine,

Even when your at your worst,

I'm proud that you are mine.



I know I'm not the perfect Mum,

But It's the best that I can do,

For everyday, I thank Allah/God,

For a Daughter as special as You!

Rantings....

I have been so tired lately . My health is not as before but I must push forward . I always count my blessing for the family and trustful friends I have for without them I don't know where Id be today.

Really am happy to have a married daughter and two still to go.When I see them packing and with such excitement a feeling of hurt gets me,and put on a good show of hiding it . As if they couldn't wait to leave. I did my best as a mother and sacrificed a lot for them;but this guilt feeling wont let me be.

Friends of mine say its the norm. I don't know.I am happy and sad at the same time;for a part of my life is over and I'm pushed aside due to the nest opening up . Not that Im whining . I just have to get used to another way of living.

Life is short and we never know when our time will be up ;so we must make the best of it and live each day as if it were our last.I no longer shed tears or get mad as I used to ,for have come to terms with that everything happens for a reason.We are here for a purpose and must make the best of it.

I suddenly remembered a friend of mine who was in love with blues and when dying he had asked his family to play the blues for him while they lowered the coffin into the ground at the cemetery.At the the time I was quite young and thought it a strange request now I have come to believe it a great idea leaving the world with music .

Haram Id been told I was an infidel. I don't have to prove my religion to anyone . It is solely mine and personal. I was attacked (by way of mouth) in having the zimzamat at my daughter's wedding,who were a blast, as they smoked and I was being nice to them. I couldn't care less. If I was nice to them its my doing .And why shouldn't I ?And what If they smoked? So what?

The hypocrisy of the fact is that the same women who made a big deal about the zimzamats smoking, smoke themselves!This I know for a fact.They objected to them smoking in public. What the heck ?
What is the difference ? At the end of the day its women who smoke which I personally don't agree with nevertheless don't hold it against them.

Smoking like any other habit is a personal choice and should be left at that .What things they do in their personal lives is no concern of mine. Many of these women have become zimzamats not due to choice but mostly due to not having a supportive family,school drop outs, born out of wedlock,single mothers etc. Some have lovers others are married and they have kids and families .Their husbands if married are drunks or drug users. They are very similar to gypsies ,yet they wear hejab have their own taxi driver who they share their income with ( a modern Islamic version of a clean cut pimp ). I am not being sarcastic but simply stating the matter of fact as all know it to be but wont write about it nor accept it.

At the end of the day they enjoy playing the darbuka and singing. Its their sole income.When you look at them you tend to feel so sorry for them that they have had a very hectic and harsh life ;living in a vicious circle that is nearly impossible to get out of.

Khadija Teri

Last time I saw Teri was Thursday at my daughters wedding and she admitted to having a good time !
Today I heard of her loss, and I was deeply shocked .So sad when a young man dies so suddenly.

Teri was the first to start me blogging and her continuous support is one I will never forget.

To Khadija and her wonderful family,my heart goes out you all;

I send my deepest condolences and a prayer.

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference"

May your brother rest in peace my dear Teri and may Allah grant you and your family the patience to move on. I am here for you anytime.

You are in my prayers.....

to my first born daughter....

The time has passed so quickly by
where have the years flown to-
since I heard your very first cry,
and also was the first to hold you.

As I look back on childhood days,
and then to teenage years-
I remember sharing in many ways,
your thoughts, ambitions, joys and tears.

But now it is time to let you go,
soon now you will be a bride-
and this time when you leave I know,
you’ll have a husband at your side.

and so on this your day of days,
I wish you joy and happiness-
and pray Allah/God be with you always,
and your marriage forever bless.

Mama

Aerobics a la Libeeya !

Aerobic clubs are booming here in Tripoli. In the past many young men would join nowadays many women young and old do aerobics. We are so delighted to have all these clubs and choices are made according not to taste but the trainer who gives us most hell and sweats the daylights out of us !

I have been doing aerobics since going on a weight loss programme about two years ago; I found myself to be less stressed and better poised with the added fact of my asthma attacks diminishing to a minimum. Now having my daughters wedding one after the other I find myself leaving the chaotic house and running full speed to my blessed place.

The one thing that I have found to be quite unique is that all these young women and not so young like myself share one common factor; that of being pear shaped or should I say being heavy seated. They tend to lose weight a lot from the upper body, due to restriction of food then pigging out; but form waist downwards its another story altogether. Yep ,aha you got it !

Pear shaped is supposedly feminine one might say . Or men usually enjoy sexy ladies more than the skinny ones. But then again, what we have here is different, as always . Libyan women are small to medium frames and when you add a big lower part of body they tend to look shorter still ..One time they put on a song ,which had a good beat to it but the words were something I just couldn’t get out of my mind:"You and me baby are nothing but mammals ,so lets……".by Bloodhound Gang ,the sullen issue is that of the ladies with me know little or no English so they hum it along and make do with what they hear and repeat it! One day I had had enough and told the trainer, of the language used in the song and she was so embarrassed, so now I have the task of choosing the songs which is better at least I don’t get the stupid song in my head going on and on….

When doing my work out, I am faced with all these big a…s jiggling to all kinds of tunes that sometimes drive me nuts. So what do I do? I join forces with younger and healthier ones leaving the big a….s to huff puff their way to their target. I know I sound mean ,but I m not ;just hope I never go back to that huffing and puffing away like a balloon about to explode at any given minute! I was there, and hope I never go back because being with the fatsos gives me a kind of comfort that I dread feeling . For then, I know I will go back to my old eating habits and become a big fat woman again .

To Anglo- Good old memories !

the biggest calamar ever !

from a distance

demolition .....

old fishing boats no longer in use

seems like cemetery for boats......

Hag. Mustafa with morning catch of mughzil( white and blue fish )
!

fishermans son Mahmoud
wild Al rayes( son of head of fishermen)

fishermen just coming in if you click the pic enlarge

the cars that you in the distance are all fishermen's cars parked ;them being still at sea

this how the calimar is caught ie the bait

fishing net

old unused boats and garbage

freshly caught calamar

with mochiata in one hand and the cigarette in the other young fishermen -typical of all young Libyans

crushed ice for the catch

Al :

This ones for you as its near the old Underwater Club where you used to live or in fact just behind it.

Do you remember ????


I go for long walks in the mornings and during my walk I sometimes buy fish from none other than the Gergarish fishermen !The site has been demolished all around them yet they still continue to strive and go fishing some as a hobby others to make a living. I like to buy from them cause they are nearby and I get to see them come in with their catch of the day.
The Gergarish Fishermen get up very early before Fejer (dawn ,sunrise)and come in at around 9.30 10 .00 am.

We have a great fish market just recently made near where the old one used to be in the Tripoli harbour but its so crowded and I just detest crowds !
Here its so peaceful and everyone knows me though I'm the only lady that buys from them !Many people are scared from the Gergarish people due everything being available in the area from any liquor to drugs. But the fishermen are another story they are real gentlemen and are so kind. Sometimes they wont even take any money from me. So what do I do ? I cant refuse as it would be rude . Next time I come I bring them a flask of Libyan strong sweetened tea cake and caak( Libyan cookies).

Some of them are old and grouchy while others are neat and clean ,but they all share and have one thing in common that of the sea....and that folks is what I share with them . I love our sea side as it brings back old memories. I remember my father when I used to go fishing with him on Fridays, as he loved the sea so much ; guess I inherited it from him . Once he told me ,he wished he could die in the sea so the fish would eat him little by little . I never quite figured out why he'd say that, and it used to scare me stiff. My father taught me how to swim ;by throwing me into the sea yep he'd throw me in and jump in after me after having gulped so much sea water and crying for him to come to me,he'd say "Come on L stop being a baby,you're a fisherman's daughter and my first born and I cant have you not knowing how to swim !"

Chit Chat....

Since doing the Lasik I still haven’t been able to get my distance sight in order . I have now become farsighted. All well you may say as I no longer need specs for reading or using the computer.. Halleluiah …….Ah but the doctors said it wont last and to not get discouraged when all comes to an end and the need for glasses to read with will be another trip down memory lane.

Now with this nearsightedness came a very serious option that Id really had no idea of it occurring and thought it to be the norm;but it wasn’t.

I have come to see very minute things which I hadn’t before. Like the other day I was paying my respects to a friend who’d lost her uncle and I simply couldn’t take my eyes of her black spots and pimples with the sudden urge of wanting so desperately to squeeze them for her had she conceited to it ! I just cant stand anyone with blocked noses ,nose hairs sticking out growing like in a jungle of their noses, pimples that are about to blast or black spots needing to be popped open.

My brain keeps ringing; pimple needing opening,cleaned pus and disinfect. Black spots needing squeezing with steam and disinfect nose hairs needing plucking ..pluck pluck pluck……finding myself searching desperately on another focus instead of looking at the person with mentioned faults, which is somewhat rude but what can I do ? My option would be that ,or Id finding myself asking is the nicest way to help them take care of the darn pimple which as staring at me !

I get this feeling; the pimples and other in question want me to handle them. I may sound weird and may even be so, but this tendency has increased after doing Lasik.

I used a magnifying mirror in the past, to put my make-up on and now no longer in need, which is great. Driving also tends to be quite hectic especially at night, so I’ve opted to not drive late in the evenings.

Another experience was that of realizing how many people looked different .I had never quite seen them so vividly clear before and I was using two spectacles ;one for reading and the other for distance. Some had such big teeth that I thought needed extraction or maybe should’ve pulled them all out and used dentures instead ,here I only had the urge to keep smiling and doing my best to not focus on the abnormalities people have.It kind of reminded me of reading old novels about the Britannia Era when,women, were told to think of England during the wedding night !

Think of England ,my dear daughter !as if to her mind at ease. No way, do I see myself telling my daughters on their wedding nights,to think of Libya or the Arab world at that !

My ,oh my, times, have changed …

Before doing Lasik I literally learned where all the pot holes were on my usual daily trips to work and other…..my kids’ brand named cars and colours so that should they encounter me Id recognize them immediately.The other day, while I was driving with my youngest daughter, my big baby, a handsome clean cut young man gave me the widest smile ever while waving to me ,I didn't recognize the car,as it wasn't ours,so I ,naturally smiled back commenting to my daughter that he’s so good looking and young wondering why he waved ,to which she replied : "Mama he’s your son ,my brother !”

That’s how bad my eyesight was .