Lumps ,bumps and miracle creams……..

We ladies always seem to be dissatisfied with our bodies, no matter what everybody tells us . I guess it’s a female issue which many men cant seem to understand, for men have it all ;they can have their cake and eat it too unlike us females with our never ending insecurities ,too fat ,too big ,if only and endless list of insecurities need I go on ????I think not, for fear of boring you all to death……

Since losing some weight ,and gaining some back ,them losing again a yo yo pattern though I do see myself feeling better when the battle of the bulges is in play and the conquest is in order and my palate is in control.

Cellulite is the most common factor, for us ladies as it seems to pile on before you know it !the only way of removing is by changing our eating behavior ,I am not a nutrionist nor do I see myself fit to give advice on the matter but always on the search of a miracle cure I have come to conclude that there simply is no such nonsense.

Going to the gym has been a great effort on my behalf, getting there instead of my usual afternoon siesta as I struggle with my inner friend who tells me to take a nap and not to go to the gym. Upon arriving there the trainer gives me such a treat that from jumping on the step to sweating like crazy and with hold my intention of killing her if she screams one more time stating 10 more pushups..I must admit I do feel way so much better afterwards. She tells me that she’s grown fond of me and enjoys it as I compete and I’m not as young as she, lets say she’s old enough to be my ie if I got married when 14 !

At first I struggle with her then I’m at the same level ,which makes her proud so she pushes me further still while the other ladies remain breathless! My inner voice tells me she wants to compete then she’ll get it. Last year I won a car which I then gave away to a nice family in need –I already have a car. I’m not boasting, just stating that I’ve become a good aerobics player. I have a good friend to thank for this, for he encouraged me, sometimes I’d lie to him stating I went when in actual fact I hadn’t. He knew ,how I don’t know ,but Id tell him the truth and get act together ,sometimes even wishing he wasn’t my friend so Id sit on my a.. and dream of becoming thin!! Bless him for keeping up with me ….

Getting back to the lumps and bumps, I meet different women of many nationalities and walks of life at the gym, last was a French lady who had just bought a jar of “miracle cure cream” for her “celluleet”as standing in an exaggerated pose asking:”Are my thighs thinner or what?”

“Why, what have you done?” I ask, instantly suspicious.

“I’ve just had this amazing treatment at the beauty salon. First they plastered my thighs with clay to increase the circulation, then attached these little wires and administered electric shocks through the pads to break down the fat.”

“Michelle, “I said looking at her ,”If you believe nothing else that I say, please believe this: you cannot break down body fat from the outside. You can plaster it with mud, seaweed, or day old rice pudding-nothing will make any difference.”

“Non ,non this cannot be, “says Estelle, her friend . In France we have many such treatments for the celluleet. Surely they must work?”

“if they worked, then everyone would be slim, “I say.”Look at the fat on your hips and thighs it got there because you ate more food than you consumed in energy. That excess food went through a chemical process in your body and was converted into fat.

The only way to lose the fat is to eat less food and do more exercise .This causes a deficit of energy source in your body and some of the fat then goes through a chemical process that turns it into a usable form of energy. You can’t disperse it from the outside.”

“But the beauty therapist said it would rid me of this celluleet, and convinced me it was breaking down the fat.”

“Well she would, wouldn’t she?”I said “When gullible young girls train to be beauty therapists, they’re indoctrinated with three key phrases:”breaks down the fat,””increases circulation, “and “gets rid of the toxins.”They’re made to repeat these phrases several times during each consultation to brainwash the client into believing there’s a connection with weight loss. But there isn’t, I assure you.”

“She did say it would get rid of toxins, “admitted Michelle.”And I thought that as fat is full of toxins, this would help me slim.”

“But fat is not full of toxins, “I say patiently (I hope ). “Your body has an extremely efficient system, blood stream, urine, sweat and so on….This is a continuous process; you don’t need to help it along. If you enjoy it, then by all means do it. But don’t kid yourself that it’s making you slimmer or healthier.”

“Well, I have this cream, “says Estelle pulling a small pot out of her handbag.” It cost me LD120 and it had better rid my celluleet for that price.”

“Well I would read the label carefully I advise. “Maybe it says something about reducing the appearance of cellulite-meaning that it will make your skin smoother, but it certainly won’t make you slimmer. And by the way, a recent study test under laboratory conditions compared samples of fat from the upper arms where the skin is smooth found they were exactly the same composition. So I’m afraid your celluleet is just plain old fat and you wasted LD 120.”

“But I can’t take it back! she whines.

Aerobics a la Libeeya !

Aerobic clubs are booming here in Tripoli. In the past many young men would join nowadays many women young and old do aerobics. We are so delighted to have all these clubs and choices are made according not to taste but the trainer who gives us most hell and sweats the daylights out of us !

I have been doing aerobics since going on a weight loss programme about two years ago; I found myself to be less stressed and better poised with the added fact of my asthma attacks diminishing to a minimum. Now having my daughters wedding one after the other I find myself leaving the chaotic house and running full speed to my blessed place.

The one thing that I have found to be quite unique is that all these young women and not so young like myself share one common factor; that of being pear shaped or should I say being heavy seated. They tend to lose weight a lot from the upper body, due to restriction of food then pigging out; but form waist downwards its another story altogether. Yep ,aha you got it !

Pear shaped is supposedly feminine one might say . Or men usually enjoy sexy ladies more than the skinny ones. But then again, what we have here is different, as always . Libyan women are small to medium frames and when you add a big lower part of body they tend to look shorter still ..One time they put on a song ,which had a good beat to it but the words were something I just couldn’t get out of my mind:"You and me baby are nothing but mammals ,so lets……".by Bloodhound Gang ,the sullen issue is that of the ladies with me know little or no English so they hum it along and make do with what they hear and repeat it! One day I had had enough and told the trainer, of the language used in the song and she was so embarrassed, so now I have the task of choosing the songs which is better at least I don’t get the stupid song in my head going on and on….

When doing my work out, I am faced with all these big a…s jiggling to all kinds of tunes that sometimes drive me nuts. So what do I do? I join forces with younger and healthier ones leaving the big a….s to huff puff their way to their target. I know I sound mean ,but I m not ;just hope I never go back to that huffing and puffing away like a balloon about to explode at any given minute! I was there, and hope I never go back because being with the fatsos gives me a kind of comfort that I dread feeling . For then, I know I will go back to my old eating habits and become a big fat woman again .

..and Allah/God created woman.....

A good friend sent me this ,which I thought worth sharing and posting .




"The women talk openly about the misery they face - homelessness, the death of loved ones, whose photos they love to hand round, their children's trauma after the horrors they've seen.The women talk openly about the misery they face - homelessness, the death of loved ones, whose photos they love to hand round, their children's trauma after the horrors they've seen."


"But much harder for them discuss, the mental health workers say, is the abuse increasing numbers of Gaza women suffer at home. "


You can read the rest here

To this article and ones similar, are really always a great concern to my daily existence .Being mother and teacher to our Libyan daughters ; I respond not to the Women of Gaza alone,which are in my prayers as are all my friends and family and anyone in need of prayers,but to all women...

A maltreated woman ,whether be she in in Gaza , Libya, or the west is more or less in the same position. Nothing differs with the implication of verbal or physical abuse ;resulting in a weakened mistreated woman who doesn't know right from wrong behavior as shes brought to up to believe that anything her so called beloved ,destined, ,provider and supposedly devoted husband is correct though deep in her gut feels something is wrong and lives in self denial....

In this world of ours women be they whatever ethnic race, or religion are continuously being abused verbally or physically.
Being a mother of daughters ,I simply get sick upon hearing about abuse of any nature ,but especially towards women who are the center of life and if well nourished and I dont mean foodwise can contribute with all they have to their families. I pray that my daughters and all women never have to go through such cruelty as degrading as it is.......

Libyan men are the same as others humans of the same sex when it comes to abuse. Verbal abuse is always the first to be implemented ie to keep the wife on her toes.If the woman is successful in her work ,the man with his mothers support will put her in her place at whatever cost even if it takes them to court.

I always told my daughters and female students to never accept such situations because as soon as the verbal part of abuse sets in then the physical will follow suite ,no matter the years of marriage ,or the children a couple share etc... he has to prove his machismo and dedication to his mother first, to feel himself a man .

I am not stating this out of the blue. I am very familiar with the situation.
A woman must accept herself as that ie the joy of being a woman, as Allah/God created. Having a decent partner these days is like winning the lottery . Yes, its all about luck and how the woman responds to the her man's abusiveness.

A unknown quote I always use with all the young ladies I teach is that
"when I teach a man ;I teach a person,when I teach a woman I teach a family."
That is why we must pay a lot of attention to our younger generation of women and rid them of their weaknesses by educating them and making them fully aware of abusive men and what theyd be up against.Some women are just plain magnets to these bunch of losers.

What it all comes down to is lack of awareness for both partners. We say that its more common in the Arab world than in the west until we read the headlines of open minded women who are self dependent and supported but in abusive relationships.Now ,where do we put the blame?????


The blame dear readers is in the weak woman. The more she advances intellectually and becomes aware of such weaknesses the better her option of having a great partner thus a successful marriage.

No husband or wife will ever be 100%. It takes two to tango !But abuse is not to be pushed under the carpet. Here in Libya, it's an accepted fact that its better being married no matter what the cost of abuse, than divorced. Even if the husband is not only verbally abusive but physically too.

Many men are obviously verbally cruel and abusive. Others are more subtle.

Although verbal abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises, it is often more seriously damaging to your self-image. Verbal abuse is cruel and scars your soul.

Many women never discuss verbal abuse. Indeed, some do not even recognize that they are being verbally abused.

Often a verbal abuser is quite sensitive to outsiders finding out about the abuse and is very careful to save these scenes for the home environment only. Many verbal abusers are delightful, charming men in public. They treat their spouse with such respect that people often think they "are the perfect couple." They save their cruelty for a private audience of one.

Why do intelligent, warm women permit verbal abuse from fiances and later from spouses?

During the courtship period, everyone is on their best behavior. The verbal abuse is slight and probably few and far between. Since women want to believe the best of their lovers, they overlook obvious verbal abuse. Chemistry adds to the capability women have to overlook the first subtle signs of abuse.

Then they marry and live together. And the abuse starts...


Many women find that emotional abuse is difficult to name or even talk about. They often wonder if it is serious because you cannot see it, like bruises or broken bones. Emotionally abused women state that one of the biggest problems they face is that others seldom take it seriously. These questions will help you identify if you ,the wonderful woman that Allah/God created ,are being emotionally abused, and provide some ideas on what you can do about it.

What is your relationship like?

* Do you feel that something is wrong with your relationship, but you don't know how to describe it?
* Do you feel that your partner controls your life?
* Do you feel that your partner does not value your thoughts or feelings?
* Will your partner do anything to win an argument, such as put you down, threaten or intimidate you?
* Does your partner get angry and jealous if you talk to someone else? Are you accused of having affairs?
* Do you feel that you cannot do anything right in your partner's eyes?
* Do you get mixed messages, such as the reason you are abused is because he loves you?
* Are you told that no one else would want you, or that you are lucky your partner takes care of you?
* Do you have to account for every moment of your time?
* When you try to talk to your partner about problems, are you called names such as bitch or nag?
* Are you prevented from going to work or school, or from learning English?
* Does your partner threaten to withdraw your sponsorship or send you back to your country of origin?
* If you wish to spend money, does your partner make you account for every penny,
* or say you don't deserve anything?
* After an argument, does your partner insist that you have sex as a way to make up?
* Does he use the children against you in arguments? Does your partner threaten that you will never see the children again if you leave?
* Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong?

How are you affected?

* Are you unable or afraid to make decisions for yourself?
* Do you do anything you can to please your partner or not upset him?
* Do you make excuses for your partner's behaviour?
* Are you forgetful, confused or unable to concentrate?
* Have you noticed changes in your eating, sleeping, use?
* Have you lost interest or energy to do the things you used to?
* Do you feel sick, anxious, tired or depressed a lot of the time?
* Have you lost contact with your friends, family or neighbours?
* Have you lost self-confidence and feel afraid that you could not make it alone?

What can you do about it?

* Realize that emotional abuse is a serious problem and you can get help.
* Recognize that emotional abuse is as bad or worse than physical abuse.
* Take your own safety and the safety of your children seriously.
* Know that emotional abuse can lead to physical violence or death.
* Know that you are not to blame for your partner's abusive behaviour.
* Find people to talk to that can support you.

* Find someone that will listen to you and take emotional abuse seriously.
* Recognize that you have the right to make your own decisions, in your own time, and that dealing with any form of abuse may take time.
* Trust yourself and your own experiences. Believe in your own strengths. Remember that you are your own best source of knowledge and strength, and that you already have the tools you need to survive.

Any woman whos in an abusive rapport please bear in mind that when you accept that you are in an abusive relationship ;you are half way to helping yourself and children if any.....

To All women !

This was passed on to me from a dear friend .....Thanks Anna

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.