To my daughter on her wedding day ....

There she sits before her mirror
Full of excitement, her face flushed
Today will be her day; she will never know
How much I hurt, how scared I am
Of the void she will leave behind

Will she forget me? I'll be replaced
By someone new, someone who makes her heart
Dance in her chest, a drumbeat
Will he, can he protect her as I've done?
I have no choice but to trust...

I see the with an almost-rage
An unfounded, illogical jealousy, an anger
For what he is taking from me
I am selfish. She is my joy, my life
I would die for her

Today I will. A thousand times.

Then she turns to look at me
In her beautiful face I see worry
For me? She sees the watery eyes
She knows. Of course, she knows
She comes to me

And with the smallest kiss, the subtle smile
All is well. She is still mine.
She will always be mine
In a different and wonderful way.
She is a part of me

She will move on, she will give others joy
And I am comforted knowing her goodness
Will be shared by everyone she touches
And I am fine, and proud, when I take her hand
To give her to her love, her new life

I swell with almost unbearable pride
To have created something so perfect!
She was never mine to keep, this supreme being
Imperfect to me. Shining, golden, priceless...
My sweetlove

And there he goes, that handsome, kind man
With his new bride, my daughter, my soul
Does he know what has been passed to him?
He could not know, not yet
But time will show him, he will realize

Someday, it will be his turn
He will have to pass her essence on
In his daughter, my granddaughter
Will he weep? With loss, with anger?

Will he sit alone in his daughter's room
Filled with love, and happiness...sadness?
No, content. A deep breath will help him stand
As I do now, and I walk with trembling lips
And chin held high. I leave this room.

I close the door.

Being in love versus loved ?

An old article I wrote some time ago...

What would you pick if you had the chance? An unrequited love, or look elsewhere until you find your soul mate?

Finding a soul mate is a very difficult endeavour especially for us Libyans. For you never really know what you’ve gotten yourself into until its most probably too late. Finding a partner is difficult, let alone a soul mate, something unimaginable in our Libyan world full of pretense and good manners until, you become somebody’s prey to feast on. As control freaks are never in short demand but always on the rise even at this day and age.

We are continuously divided between two worlds that of the western, and our cultural religious one. Trying desperately to not clash in one’s own culture, for fear of losing respect, and dignity in our little world of so called decency, so when hopelessly in love, a usually well kept hidden taboo topic which is left undiscussed in many families unless marriage plans were being targeted, one would not fully feel the living spirit of insanity, let alone the obvious roller coaster ride! So shouting out to the world of one being in love is unquestionably out.

The internet has opened up many channels to couples looking for a partner and hopefully ending up with. But the lies that are told are something unbelievable as many Libyans due to being away from the world ,under sanctions for many years are very gullible people and unaware of the mischief that lies outside their world . Some people I know have found their partners through the internet and are quite happily married, never mentioning what they went through to get there. And if you were to mention, how they met, the question would always be answered according to who is doing the asking, i.e. open minded persons would get the truth: the internet, while others, who are hypocrites and pretend to hold on to certain values a response would be: of a family member, a sister’s teacher or neighbour's friend, endless stories to feed the ignorant of the fact… bla bla bla…

Getting back to our topic as I have the tendency to go elsewhere with my thoughts, i.e. of being in love or being loved and what choice would one make if the chance came up…….
Well in this case there are more than two sides to a coin here...
Let’s look at the word love;

Love: 1) a very strong, emotional and sexual feeling for someone. 2) feeling of liking and caring.3) somebody /something you love.4) a kind person 5) used at the end of a letter 6) used for talking with somebody.7) no points in tennis

Being madly in love, unrequited love, unconditional love, here insanity plays a huge role and it’s usually a roller coaster ride, if one is willing to take the trip!

Also it could be said or used by friends, family members or partners, as mentioned above and Ah yes tennis anyone? I wonder whoever gave this word to tennis duh!??


For Valentines Day , I went out and bought myself a box of chocolates and a dozen red roses . Weird? You might think, I wouldn’t say so. Spoiling myself? Again no. Loving my existence, aha that’s it. This is the meaning our dictionary forgot to mention, and where would one be if one expects to be given love from anyone? Love of oneself should come first.

As I ate the chocolates ,one by one, devouring each individually and smelling my roses I felt I was in heaven for brief moments imagining myself on an a deserted island Ahhhh….a vision of a beautiful sandy beach and clear sparkling sea lying carelessly in a hammock under the shade of palm trees. Suddenly a ringing tone hit my head and a reality check was in order, as the phone rang and another problem had to be solved….

All in all in seems that we might as well do without the insanity so as to not have to blame the beautiful word, (love), in being the culprit. Think about it, and do love yourself… and live everyday as though it were your last…….cause one never knows…..when we’d hitch on to the no return trip!

--

old city part II

A visit to the old city ......part 1

Last week my daughter ,her hubby and myself went to visit the old city...Daughter's hubby just loves the old city and asked me to go with them for a cup of coffee and a stroll . I was so happy to accept as I haven't been there for ages,here are the pics I took -hope you enjoy them .

there are 3 churches-as you can see below...

Someone is messing with my blog!

Dear fellow bloggers and readers would you please reply if you have problems in reading my blog......

I have been informed about this and would like to verify .

Have a great day !

Peace and Blessings

Luna

Happy Mothers and Childrens Day from Tripoli - Libya!

From reading many poems about mothers day , which impressed me most was this one.

Dear Loli, we sure miss your poems ,congrats and many blessings on your new marriage.


The mother in me....

Happy and grateful of having had the perfect mum
But sad at the same time
For no one will say as well for me
Nor call me by natures name
Yes, childless I am
Lucky all say I am ;though I believe not


The mother in me
Is atrocious at times
To a point of insanity
Maybe that being why
I have come to remain childless
Overprotective and controlling
I may have become
From fear of losing something so precious and divine

The mother in me
A child is a bond between two loved ones
Which will unite them to eternity
Even if should they chose to part
An added contribution of love it is
For think they not when the nest is open
And fly away it may seem
As they will be back with offspring
Ecstatic their mum will be


The mother in me
How , Oh how I wish someone would
Call me mummy,mama,or mother
Natures name in the making
Not because a childless woman gives off
An incomplete nature to all observers
As the craving to mothering is strong and strenuous
And pretense is easily seen

The mother in me
Tried all I could
But to no avail
To hear little footsteps
Running and giggling away
Dreams and wishes are just that
But reality is a different showcase
Which I have to face and hopefully accept

Lolitta Ali (Lamaan Ali Shuehdi)

D D D part 2 ......

I wonder .....Hoping for the best to come!