What Men Want in a Relationship

I have recently ben quite busy with matchmaking some of my acquaintances together and am truly enjoying the results.

I am by no means a perfect lady . I too have my days and insecurities. Nevertheless nothing beats getting people together, and seeing that sparkle.......

Hhmmm if only I knew then ,what I know now.But as the saying goes "cant cry over spilt milk ."

This read by :by Coach Rinatta Paries, is of great interest and help in wanting to understand what a man really is all about.

I have discovered a stark contrast between what each sex thinks
the opposite sex wants from them, and what the opposite sex
really does want.
What women think men want from them causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them causes them much of the same feelings and frustration.
The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don't have to take my word for this.
I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected. Discover what men said they want from women as contrasted with what women think men want. You'll also find tips for women to give men what they want, attract a great man, and create a wonderful relationship.

1. Men want honest, timely, loving communication.

Honest communication is top priority for men. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his and her dignity.
Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up.

**A Tip for Women**
Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.

2. Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women.

Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation -- either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests.
On the other hand, men treasure time spend with a loving partner.
Women think men don't want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and
possibly make him run away.

**A Tip for Women**
Men want what women want -- a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.

3. Men want a manipulation-free relationship.

Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner's mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.
Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don't want or value praise and acknowledgement, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.

**A Tip for Women**
Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his timeline. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.

4. Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.

Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.
Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a
woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.

**A Tip for Women**
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.

5. Men want fidelity and a commitment to the relationship.

Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a "roaming eye" and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship -- even when the going gets tough.
Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship; that when the going gets tough, they run.

**A Tip for Women**
Here is great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and "a roaming eye" are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient.

6. Men want women who know how men need to be treated.

Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgement of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.

**A Tip for Women**
Most men want acknowledgement and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING !

To all who celebrate Thanksgiving :





I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more.....than Ill never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

(instrumental break)

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin...*spoken*(I ....love....you).

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than Ill never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.


May the spirit of thanksgiving bring you peace love and happiness always.

A marriage made in heaven??? thats yet to be seen !

Have you ever wondered what makes some marriages thrive and other marriages fall apart. No one gets married thinking of divorce, but divorce happens everyday. What makes the difference? Why does love die and what can you do to make sure your marriage is a happy one?

No matter how much in love you are in the beginning, those euphoric feelings of new love cannot and will not last forever. This is reality, but that does not mean that because you are married that life has to be boring and stale.

Challenges to a Lasting Relationship
"Of all the misconceptions about love, the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations of love." -- M. SCOTT PECK

People who are married or in committed relationships are healthier, wealthier, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in divorce? Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?

the answers to these questions are plentiful, but the main reason is simple. It’s easy to "fall" in love, but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our "smartest" choice all the way around! Recent studies on marriage prove it’s one of the major ingredients in life-long success for men and women. "It lengthens life, substantially boosts physical and emotional health, and raises income over that of single or divorced people or those who live together," reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.

So let’s wake up, make up, and turn this trend around! One of the most startling pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with what’s really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the majority of people who file for divorce say they didn’t think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and smell the coffee, it’s often too late.

Truly there is no reason to resign yourself to a bad relationship ? Whether you’re dating or married. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicament again, you can learn to have a fabulous relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to make the relationship you have work, because there is a higher rate of divorce and adultery in second marriages.

Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem, because half of the "problem" is yours. You can walk out on your marriage, but you can’t run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this, you must create a "safe" relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don’t know how to validate each other (that frustration escalates to become anger) than for any other reason. This is truly a shame, because the skills for "fighting fair" are very easy to master with just a little practice and patience.

One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different "childhood wounds" that we’re trying to heal. While it may seem like we’re from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and intimacy. We only behave differently in our quests for closeness. Stop doing what you think is "fair" or "right" and start doing what works! It’s not about "working harder" it’s about "working smarter".

the last tango........

Bien sûr, nous eûmes des orages
Vingt ans d`amour, c`est l`amour folle
Mille fois tu pris ton bagage
Mille fois je pris mon envol
Et chaque meuble se souvient
Dans cette chambre sans berceau
Des éclats des vieilles tempêtes
Plus rien ne ressemblait à rien
Tu avais perdu le goût de l`eau
Et moi celui de la conquête

Moi, je sais tous tes sortilèges
Tu sais tous mes envoûtements
Tu m`as gardé de pièges en pièges
Je t`ai perdue de temps en temps
Bien sûr tu pris quelques amants
Il fallait bien passer le temps
Il faut bien que le corps exulte
Finalement finalement
Il nous fallut bien du talent
Pour être vieux sans être adultes

Et plus le temps nous fait cortège
Et plus le temps nous fait tourment
Mais n`est-ce pas le pire piège
Que vivre en paix pour des amants
Bien sûr tu pleures un peu moins tôt
Je me déchire un peu plus tard
Nous protégeons moins nos mystères
On laisse moins faire le hasard
On se méfie du fil de l`eau
Mais c`est toujours la tendre guerre

Oh, mon amour...
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l`aube claire jusqu`à la fin du jour
Je t`aime encore tu sais je t`aime.

(One of my favourite songs of all times, from the mighty Jacques Brel. I thought of it whilst I watched you dance. The way only old couples know how to.
[For those who'd like to hear it, here it is www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1DpjXQUDsI])

Importance of Walking !

My friend emailed me this and I thought I'd post it for all to read.......

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
To spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
Home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
Five miles a day when he was 60..
Now he's 97 years old
And we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
Especially when they are taken
By people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
Before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year,
Spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.



Every time I hear the dirty word
'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
But fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
Is so when you die, they'll say,
Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
Start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
The last few years,......
Just getting over the hill.




We all get heavier as we get older,
Because there's a lot more information in our
heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
About how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
And by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them

Healing Power of Gossip

I'm TELLING everyone'' a friend of mine used to say when she had a particularly juicy piece of gossip to share. ''But remember, you didn't hear it from me.''

Most of us don't want to miss out on hearing the latest. But we also don't like to think of ourselves as gossips. Well, here's some tittle-tattle to put our minds at rest. Psychologists say gossip is good for us.

''Gossip is a way to keep track of social status and to manage alliances, ''says psychologist Frank McAndrew of Knox College in Illinois. ''It helps us know who we are and how we fit in.

''That sense of belonging is key to emotional health.

Of course, not all stories we share are benign. Experts distinguish between rumour (often unfounded and malicious) and gossip (mostly factual news). But while gossip may be true, it isn't always nice.

When the subject is someone higher than us on the social ladder we're most interested in the nasty stories—negative information could be useful in helping us move up a rung or two. When the gossip concerns someone we perceive as lower in status, good news makes us listen: that's because fortune could raise our rival above us in social rank.

Exchanging tales over the garden fence also helps a community of people establish moral boundaries.

We gossip when people go astray as a way of delineating what's right and wrong. ''We all have to learn the 'unwritten' rules of our society or social group, ''writes social anthropologist Kate Fox of the social Issues Research Center in Oxford.

''Critical gossip helps us to discover negotiate and transmit those rules.''

Gossip may also been compared to social grooming among primates which is known to stimulate the release of endorphins, relieving stress and boosting the immune system.

If that weren't enough, gossip may even be good for the soul. ''A saintly virtue, ''Canadian philosopher Ronald de Sousa once dubbed it.

Gossip allows us to exchange truths that might otherwise remain hidden, painting a truer picture of what it is to be human.

So what do you think ???

Hmmmmm to gossip or not to gossip that is the question …….

He never fails to impress me.......

Chalk drawings were done

by Julian Beever