A marriage made in heaven??? thats yet to be seen !

Have you ever wondered what makes some marriages thrive and other marriages fall apart. No one gets married thinking of divorce, but divorce happens everyday. What makes the difference? Why does love die and what can you do to make sure your marriage is a happy one?

No matter how much in love you are in the beginning, those euphoric feelings of new love cannot and will not last forever. This is reality, but that does not mean that because you are married that life has to be boring and stale.

Challenges to a Lasting Relationship
"Of all the misconceptions about love, the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations of love." -- M. SCOTT PECK

People who are married or in committed relationships are healthier, wealthier, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in divorce? Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?

the answers to these questions are plentiful, but the main reason is simple. It’s easy to "fall" in love, but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our "smartest" choice all the way around! Recent studies on marriage prove it’s one of the major ingredients in life-long success for men and women. "It lengthens life, substantially boosts physical and emotional health, and raises income over that of single or divorced people or those who live together," reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.

So let’s wake up, make up, and turn this trend around! One of the most startling pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with what’s really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the majority of people who file for divorce say they didn’t think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and smell the coffee, it’s often too late.

Truly there is no reason to resign yourself to a bad relationship ? Whether you’re dating or married. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicament again, you can learn to have a fabulous relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to make the relationship you have work, because there is a higher rate of divorce and adultery in second marriages.

Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem, because half of the "problem" is yours. You can walk out on your marriage, but you can’t run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this, you must create a "safe" relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don’t know how to validate each other (that frustration escalates to become anger) than for any other reason. This is truly a shame, because the skills for "fighting fair" are very easy to master with just a little practice and patience.

One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different "childhood wounds" that we’re trying to heal. While it may seem like we’re from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and intimacy. We only behave differently in our quests for closeness. Stop doing what you think is "fair" or "right" and start doing what works! It’s not about "working harder" it’s about "working smarter".

the last tango........

Bien sûr, nous eûmes des orages
Vingt ans d`amour, c`est l`amour folle
Mille fois tu pris ton bagage
Mille fois je pris mon envol
Et chaque meuble se souvient
Dans cette chambre sans berceau
Des éclats des vieilles tempêtes
Plus rien ne ressemblait à rien
Tu avais perdu le goût de l`eau
Et moi celui de la conquête

Moi, je sais tous tes sortilèges
Tu sais tous mes envoûtements
Tu m`as gardé de pièges en pièges
Je t`ai perdue de temps en temps
Bien sûr tu pris quelques amants
Il fallait bien passer le temps
Il faut bien que le corps exulte
Finalement finalement
Il nous fallut bien du talent
Pour être vieux sans être adultes

Et plus le temps nous fait cortège
Et plus le temps nous fait tourment
Mais n`est-ce pas le pire piège
Que vivre en paix pour des amants
Bien sûr tu pleures un peu moins tôt
Je me déchire un peu plus tard
Nous protégeons moins nos mystères
On laisse moins faire le hasard
On se méfie du fil de l`eau
Mais c`est toujours la tendre guerre

Oh, mon amour...
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l`aube claire jusqu`à la fin du jour
Je t`aime encore tu sais je t`aime.

(One of my favourite songs of all times, from the mighty Jacques Brel. I thought of it whilst I watched you dance. The way only old couples know how to.
[For those who'd like to hear it, here it is www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1DpjXQUDsI])

Importance of Walking !

My friend emailed me this and I thought I'd post it for all to read.......

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
To spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
Home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
Five miles a day when he was 60..
Now he's 97 years old
And we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
Especially when they are taken
By people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
Before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year,
Spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.



Every time I hear the dirty word
'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
But fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
Is so when you die, they'll say,
Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
Start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
The last few years,......
Just getting over the hill.




We all get heavier as we get older,
Because there's a lot more information in our
heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
About how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
And by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them

Healing Power of Gossip

I'm TELLING everyone'' a friend of mine used to say when she had a particularly juicy piece of gossip to share. ''But remember, you didn't hear it from me.''

Most of us don't want to miss out on hearing the latest. But we also don't like to think of ourselves as gossips. Well, here's some tittle-tattle to put our minds at rest. Psychologists say gossip is good for us.

''Gossip is a way to keep track of social status and to manage alliances, ''says psychologist Frank McAndrew of Knox College in Illinois. ''It helps us know who we are and how we fit in.

''That sense of belonging is key to emotional health.

Of course, not all stories we share are benign. Experts distinguish between rumour (often unfounded and malicious) and gossip (mostly factual news). But while gossip may be true, it isn't always nice.

When the subject is someone higher than us on the social ladder we're most interested in the nasty stories—negative information could be useful in helping us move up a rung or two. When the gossip concerns someone we perceive as lower in status, good news makes us listen: that's because fortune could raise our rival above us in social rank.

Exchanging tales over the garden fence also helps a community of people establish moral boundaries.

We gossip when people go astray as a way of delineating what's right and wrong. ''We all have to learn the 'unwritten' rules of our society or social group, ''writes social anthropologist Kate Fox of the social Issues Research Center in Oxford.

''Critical gossip helps us to discover negotiate and transmit those rules.''

Gossip may also been compared to social grooming among primates which is known to stimulate the release of endorphins, relieving stress and boosting the immune system.

If that weren't enough, gossip may even be good for the soul. ''A saintly virtue, ''Canadian philosopher Ronald de Sousa once dubbed it.

Gossip allows us to exchange truths that might otherwise remain hidden, painting a truer picture of what it is to be human.

So what do you think ???

Hmmmmm to gossip or not to gossip that is the question …….

He never fails to impress me.......

Chalk drawings were done

by Julian Beever

How I'll Become An American........

While surfing the net for something peculiar and sarcastic in essay form for my students, I came along this piece of writing,which Id like to share with you all.

No offence to all my American friends just take it with a pinch of salt as the Brits say .......Its a democratic world we live in and we are sensible enough to not brag or dispute among ourselves,which world is the better for home and country is where the heart is.

By Miklos Vamos(1951- )

a Hungarian novelist and playwright. Vamos wrote this essay for

The New York Times when he was spending a year at the Yale School of Drama in New Haven Connecticut.

I have been Hungarian for 38 years .I'll try something else for the next 38. I'll try to be an American ,for instance. North American, I mean .As an American, I'll speak English fluently. I'll make American mistakes instead of Hungarian mistakes and I'll call them slang.

As an American, I'll have a credit card. Or two. I'll use and misuse them and have to pay the fees. I'll apply for other cards right away. Golden Visa. Golden American. Golden Gate. And I'll buy a car, a great American car.

Then I'll sell my car and buy a smaller West German car

because it's more reliable and doesn’t use so much gasoline.

Later, I'll sell it and buy a smaller Japanese car with a computer aboard. Then I'll sell it and buy a camper. When I sell the camper, I'll buy a bicycle.

As an American, I'll buy a dog. And a cat. And a goat. And a white whale. And also some big stones as pets.

I'll live in my own house. It will be mine, except for the 99 percent mortgage. I'll sell my house and buy a condo. I'll sell my condo and buy a mobile home. I'll sell my mobile home and buy an igloo. I'll sell my igloo and buy a tent. As an American, I'll be clever: I'll sell my igloo and buy a tent when I move to Florida from Alaska.

Anyway, I'll move a lot. And I'll buy the best dishwasher, microwave, dryer, and hi-fi in the world –that is, the U.S.A. I'll have a warranty for all or my money back. I'll use automatic toothbrushes, egg boilers. And garage doors. I'll cal every single phone number starting 1-800.

I'll buy the fastest food I can get and I'll eat it very slowly because I'll watch TV during the meal. Of course, I'll buy a VCR. I'll watch the taped programs and then retape. Sometimes I'll retape first.

As an American, I'll have an answering machine, too. The outgoing message will promise that I'll call you back as soon as possible, but it won't be possible soon.

If I answer the phone as an exception, I'll tell you that I can talk now because I have a long-distance call on the other line, but I'll call you back as soon as possible .

And I'll get a job. I'll always be looking for a better job, but I won't get the job I want. I'll work really hard since as an American I wanna be rich.

I'll always be in hurry: Time is money. Unfortunately, my time won't be worth as much money as my bosses' time. Sometimes I will have the time and I still won't have enough money. Then I'll start to hate the wisdom of this saying.

As an American, sometimes I'll be badly depressed. I'll be the patient of 12 psychiatrists, and I'll be disappointed with all of them. I'll try to change my life a little bit. I'll try to exchange my wives, my car, my lovers, my houses, my children, my jobs, my pets.

Sometimes I'll exchange a few dollars into other currencies and I'll travel to Europe, Hamaii, Tunisia, Martinique, and Japan. I'll be happy to see that people all over the world are jealous of us Americans. I'll take at least 2,000 snapshots on each trip. I'll also buy a video camera and shoot everywhere. I'll look at the tapes, photos, and slides, and I'll try to remember my experiences when I have time or I am in the mood because I get depressed again and again.

I'll smoke cigarettes. Then I'll be afraid of cancer and I'll stop. I'll smoke cigars. I'll take a breather. I'll be try to stop but I won't be able to. I'll call 1-800-222-HELP.If nothing helps and I am still unhappy. I'll make a final effort. I'll try to read a book. I'll buy some bestsellers. I'll prefer James A. Michener. My second favorite will be How to Be Rich in seven weeks. I'll try to follow this advice in seven years.

I'll always be concerned about my health as an American. I won't eat anything but health food until I get ill. From time, to I'll read in the paper that I should stop eating meat, sugar, bread, fiber, grains, iron, toothpaste, and that I should stop drinking milk, soda, water, acid rain.

I'll try to follow this advice, but then I'll read in paper that I should do it the other way around.

I'll be puzzled. ''Hey, I don’t even know what cholesterol is'' Yet I'll stick to decaf coffee, sugar-free cookies, salt-free butter, and lead-free gasoline. I'll believe that proper diet and exercise make life longer. I'll go jogging every day until I am mugged twice and knocked down three times. Then I'll just exercise in my room, but it will also increase my appetite. I'll go on several diets. And little by I'll reach 200 pounds.

As an American, I'll buy a new TV every time a larger screen appears on the market. in the end, the screen will be larger than the room. It will be difficult to put this enormous TV into my living room : thus, I will put my living room into the TV. Anyway, my living room will look very much like the living rooms you can see in the soaps: nobody will complain. I won't complain either. I'll always smile. After all, we are Americans, aren't we?

MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN............

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the r einstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!